day 13: trust.

Some days, this road is not so easy.

I hope there soon comes a day when I don’t cry a little (or a lot) when I hear of a new baby born breathing into this world.

I don’t begrudge anyone their perfect, healthy new babies, and I wouldn’t wish anything else for them, but it always reminds Craig and I of how unfair life is.

We tried to do everything right and we still lost.

Even still, my God is the still same as He was before August 8th, and He will be the same tomorrow.

But it’s not easy.

Daily, I have to put my trust in Him that He sees the bigger picture even when I can’t.

That He has our best interests at heart, even when my interest lies anywhere but here.

I know that His love for me has never wavered. I’ve felt that.  So I just keep returning to the fact that Heaven is waiting.  Griffin is waiting.

And my job now, is to be the best I can be. To make the most of every heartbeat I have left.  A better wife and mother.  A better friend.  Someone who gives more and complains less.